Sunday, July 12, 2009
Not Doing What I Need to Do with ADD
My bed, if it was ever found, was under a pile of clothing. Some things never change. At least now I'm not sleeping ON my clothing. They just occupy the entire right side of my bed. I get my half, the laundy gets the other. Maybe I should say it gets 3/4.
The dishes, they typically sit until I'm out of spoons for breakfast. I can't stand dishes and laundry. I'm not much of a vacuumer either. Hmm, household chores just aren't my thing.
Now, put me in a barn to clean it out, I'll do it for hours. Brush the horses, clean out their hooves, any other barn chores...sign me up!! Taking care of anything outside, I'm all for it. I could weed for hours also. Tending to my plants, so relaxing and enjoyable. Encouraging my veggies to grow, I get such peace.
Come into the house, BIG GROAN!! Piles upon piles everywhere. How do people keep it together? I dread coming into the house. When I have massive amounts of laundry on my bed, all I want to do is be outside. Bottom line, I'm not motivated whatsoever to do a bloomin' thing inside the house.
I'm motivated when I get an urge to clean and what it would be like to keep it up. But then I walk into the room that I think I'll tackle and I totally deflate. Cleaning just isn't my "thing". I know, how can cleaning not be someone's "thing". We should all be neat and tidy, dontcha think?
I need a life coach. Someone who can come live with me for a month to help me get into a routine. I've heard it takes a month to start a routine and keep it. A coach to wake up with me and follow me around all day saying, "Do this, do that." "No, don't sit down and read for 3 hours." "Hey, get out of that computer chair." At my age, you think I'd have it figured out. Not even close. I have no fantastical ideas that I'll ever have a tidy home. Anyone have some advice on how not to keep piles everywhere? How about how a slob can no longer be a slob? I could use all the help I can get!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Attention Deficit Disorder Dangers
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Big Letdown with Adderall XR
Ok, so the honeymoon with Adderall XR is over. Took it, what, once last week? This week I took it twice and both times by 7-8pm I was crashing pretty hard. I wonder if how hard you crash is circumstantial.
The first day I took my meds, I believe we were home when the Adderall XR was wearing off. Nothing in particular was going on. Just living life.
The second day (Tues night) we were at a Cub Scout activity that started at 6:30pm and didn't end until 8:30pm! So, that's at least an hour after we should've eaten dinner and everyone there is crazy. By 8pm I was bored out of my gourd and getting tired. 8:30pm rolled around and it was time to go home.
Telling the boys to get their coats on, one heads to the bathroom and the other, well he just disappears. Can't find the coat of the one who heads to the bathroom & then about 5 min later, still can't find him. Finally find him back in the big room with his coat on!!! Thinking my older one has headed to the front doors, we head there. He's nowhere to be found! GRRRR I found him in a different room with a bunch of other boys playing tag. Guess who's seriously upset and I have to admit, a bit out of control. I yell at the boys to get in the car. How difficult can this be? It's late and I'm not thrilled having to go chase both of them around. About 5 min later I realize that I'm not being rational and that my meds are absolutely worn off. Bummed that I didn't recognize the situation before I yelled at the boys.
Along comes Thursday. I take my Adderall XR again. When the boys get home we get ready to head to my estranged husband's apartment to visit with Great Grandma (who's 94). We sit around while the boys and Gram put together a puzzle and then play numerous games of dominoes. Basically we're waiting for my 15 yr old to get done with work. I finally call her about 6:45pmm and she tells me she won't be done for at least an hour!! AN HOUR?! We haven't eaten dinner yet, my 9yr old has homework and both boys need a shower! UGH!!! On top of that, it means I have to come back into town. Geez! On the way home, I text my 17 yr old to ask her to put the lasagne back in the oven to warm up. She doesn't understand my text and we go back and forth until I call her as we're about to turn on our street.
Um, how long can lasagne stay out without going bad? She'd left it out for nearly an hour!!! Again...UGH! So, we get in the house, I put the boys on their homework, put the lasagne back in the stinkin' oven and am ranting the entire time! I realize my meds have worn off, but I tell you, it's not like this the nights I'm NOT on my meds. Is it just coincidence? I haven't figured it out yet. I know that I make a mountain out of a mole hill when I'm coming off my meds whether it's Adderall or Adderall XR.
So, my conclusion at this point is yes, the Adderall XR lasts longer, but the end of the day can have the same conclusion if I'm not home and relaxed! Bummer! I was hoping this med would be different! Not sure where to go from here. It certainly doesn't help the family dynamics when mom is being emotionally unreasonable. Sigh...
Monday, February 9, 2009
Attention Deficit Disorder & Gettin' Fidgity
- fold leg under me
- unfold leg
- fold other leg under me
- scratch face
- tuck hair behind ear
- unfold leg
- tap my foot
- look around
- notice others not moving
- straighten pants
- scratch head
- sit sideways
- scooch a bit
- pull both legs under me
I would say that all could happen in a 3 minute period!
I am flabbergasted at those people around me just sitting! Doing nothing. Not a single movement...in 3 minutes! How is that possible? Doesn't something itch, feel out of place, get uncomfortable?
Today at our Mom's In Touch meeting I kept glancing up while we were praying (no meds today). I wasn't too distracted, just enough to realize no one else was moving, but me. The ladies sat there for like 10 min, heads bowed, just being!!
Not me! I was fidgeting the entire time! I was driving myself crazy. I wonder if any of them notices how I can't just sit still. Of course, I'm not going to mention it to them because then they'll start paying attention. That I don't need.
My challenge to you is, pay attention to those around you. Are you the fidgety one? Do you think those around you notice? What kind of fidgeting do you do? Is it always the same? Let me know.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Took the plunge to Adderall XR
Sunday, February 1, 2009
ADD-Inattentive & My Forgetfulness
- give messages to people
- dishes
- cat litter
- piles of laundry
- make important phone calls
- pay bills
- make bed
- vacuum
- dust
- play with kids
- play with the dog
- clean desk
- turn in school permission forms/payments: yr books, lunch $, fees
- trash
- recycling
- straighten son's bookshelf
- give things back to people that they've lent me even tho I'm done with it
- cash checks
- make dr/dentist appts
- remember son has bball on Wed after school
- return library books to avoid fines
- clean up after puppies were born IN AUGUST & left in OCTOBER!
- straighten up garage
- clean bathroom
- paint walls that have been fixed
- send "thank you notes" to people who've been kind or helped me in some way
- get in touch w/ grandma
- read my bible daily
- scrap booking
- go thru my piles & piles of papers
- having boys take showers/brush teeth
- making sure homework/reading gets done
- going thru boys backpacks
So, this is barely skimming the list of the things I forget on a daily basis. Every day of my life, many of those bullets above are being neglected! How God allowed me to be a parent is beyond me when I can barely take care of myself. I know, he knows what he's doing, but it still boggles my mind.
What things are on your list that you neglect on a daily basis? I'm not saying these are "bad" things, just part of our lives and living with this disorder. We're not alone in our day to day struggles.
~Mimi
Saturday, January 31, 2009
My new Prescription for Attention Deficit Disorder ~ Inattentive
So, I went to my dr. appt on Thurs and she didn't realize I wasn't already on the Adderall XR. Of course, when you only see someone a few times a year, I'm sure it's hard to keep track. She gave me my new prescription.
I dropped it off at the pharmacy & picked it up yesterday. Well, let me tell you there was definitely sticker shock! My generic version of Adderall 20mg only cost approx $35 for an entire month. Adderall XR has no generic form so it cost about $215!!! Holy moly Rocky! I'll see how things go when I take it to decide if it's financially worth staying on it.
We've recently switched insurance providers. Of course, there's always an upside & downside to change. The upside is that we don't have to pay the full amount at the time of purchase. We'd then turn in our copy of our payment to the insurance company, who in turn would reimburse us at 90%. With the new insurer, there's a $25 copay. I wonder if that's for every prescription across the board. I don't recall that specific number anywhere in the paperwork.
So, instead of paying $3 in the end with our old insurance with the regular Adderall, now I'll be paying $25 if I go back on it.
Now for the XR, I haven't taken it. I was going to take it today, but then forgot it at home when I left for my son's basketball game. I didn't want to take it late into the day because I thought if I took it too late I might not sleep well tonight. Can you tell I'm a bit apprehensive?
I wonder if I'll respond differently even tho it's basically the same medication. I guess I'll wait until Tuesday to try it out for the first time. Why wait until then? Well, it's already 2pm. I'll take 1/2 of my Adderall that I still have left to get me through work tonight. Tomorrow is Sunday and I never take my Adderall on my days of. So, that line of thinking will take me through Monday. Tuesday is a day shift at work and I'll try it then earlier in the day than now.
I pray to God it does as it says and gets me through the early evening hours. I may take it closer to 10-11am. I've also been considering taking it on Monday just to see how my body reacts and just deal with it at home. Seriously, I don't want to act out of character at work if it really clears up my thinking!
I'll post as soon as I take it for the first time and let everyone know what it was like.
~Mimi