Friday, February 20, 2009

Attention Deficit Disorder Dangers

Do you ever forget that your curling iron is plugged in? Do you leave water boiling on the stove? Well, I definitely do those things. I think everyone does that on occasion. Unfortunately, I do that more than the average Joe. Unfortunately, my 15 yr old daughter is starting to do the same thing.

The other night I came upstairs to see her on the computer. I smelled something and realized it was a candle. She had left a candle burning, unattended in her bedroom! I went and blew it out and let her know that she left it burning. You know what her response was to me? "I've only been out here for 5 minutes."

How often do we do that? Make excuses? I only ran downstairs to switch the laundry, I was just grabbing something from the back seat, etc. We somehow believe that we're going to do something for only a moment, and get sidetracked for 10, 15, 20+ minutes. I left the house the other day with the curling iron plugged in "knowing" I'd be back in a few minutes.

I have to say I'm very concerned about our safety when it comes to Ber burning her candles. I'm glad she loves them and enjoys their ambiance. What worries me is her inattentiveness. What happens if she falls asleep with them burning. Yes, I say, "them," because she sometimes burns more than one at a time.

How do I find a safe balance of letting her enjoy the mood of her room and keeping our house from burning down? Unlike my curling iron that shuts off after 60 minutes, her candles will burn until they get to the bottom.

Maybe she should have to set a timer if she leaves her room with a candle burning. Even if she thinks she's "just" going to the bathroom. I suppose it's something I should do if I walk away from the stove if something's cooking. I should be an example to the child who is just like me!

Does anyone else try to balance their checkbook while they're driving? What do you walk away from or what do you do that could be a danger to yourself or others?

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Big Letdown with Adderall XR

Ok, so the honeymoon with Adderall XR is over. Took it, what, once last week? This week I took it twice and both times by 7-8pm I was crashing pretty hard. I wonder if how hard you crash is circumstantial.

The first day I took my meds, I believe we were home when the Adderall XR was wearing off. Nothing in particular was going on. Just living life.

The second day (Tues night) we were at a Cub Scout activity that started at 6:30pm and didn't end until 8:30pm! So, that's at least an hour after we should've eaten dinner and everyone there is crazy. By 8pm I was bored out of my gourd and getting tired. 8:30pm rolled around and it was time to go home.

Telling the boys to get their coats on, one heads to the bathroom and the other, well he just disappears. Can't find the coat of the one who heads to the bathroom & then about 5 min later, still can't find him. Finally find him back in the big room with his coat on!!! Thinking my older one has headed to the front doors, we head there. He's nowhere to be found! GRRRR I found him in a different room with a bunch of other boys playing tag. Guess who's seriously upset and I have to admit, a bit out of control. I yell at the boys to get in the car. How difficult can this be? It's late and I'm not thrilled having to go chase both of them around. About 5 min later I realize that I'm not being rational and that my meds are absolutely worn off. Bummed that I didn't recognize the situation before I yelled at the boys.

Along comes Thursday. I take my Adderall XR again. When the boys get home we get ready to head to my estranged husband's apartment to visit with Great Grandma (who's 94). We sit around while the boys and Gram put together a puzzle and then play numerous games of dominoes. Basically we're waiting for my 15 yr old to get done with work. I finally call her about 6:45pmm and she tells me she won't be done for at least an hour!! AN HOUR?! We haven't eaten dinner yet, my 9yr old has homework and both boys need a shower! UGH!!! On top of that, it means I have to come back into town. Geez! On the way home, I text my 17 yr old to ask her to put the lasagne back in the oven to warm up. She doesn't understand my text and we go back and forth until I call her as we're about to turn on our street.

Um, how long can lasagne stay out without going bad? She'd left it out for nearly an hour!!! Again...UGH! So, we get in the house, I put the boys on their homework, put the lasagne back in the stinkin' oven and am ranting the entire time! I realize my meds have worn off, but I tell you, it's not like this the nights I'm NOT on my meds. Is it just coincidence? I haven't figured it out yet. I know that I make a mountain out of a mole hill when I'm coming off my meds whether it's Adderall or Adderall XR.

So, my conclusion at this point is yes, the Adderall XR lasts longer, but the end of the day can have the same conclusion if I'm not home and relaxed! Bummer! I was hoping this med would be different! Not sure where to go from here. It certainly doesn't help the family dynamics when mom is being emotionally unreasonable. Sigh...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Attention Deficit Disorder & Gettin' Fidgity

Those of you with ADD, do you ever pay attention to those sitting around you? I have and I wonder how they do it! How do they sit still? Here's me:
  • fold leg under me
  • unfold leg
  • fold other leg under me
  • scratch face
  • tuck hair behind ear
  • unfold leg
  • tap my foot
  • look around
  • notice others not moving
  • straighten pants
  • scratch head
  • sit sideways
  • scooch a bit
  • pull both legs under me

I would say that all could happen in a 3 minute period!

I am flabbergasted at those people around me just sitting! Doing nothing. Not a single movement...in 3 minutes! How is that possible? Doesn't something itch, feel out of place, get uncomfortable?

Today at our Mom's In Touch meeting I kept glancing up while we were praying (no meds today). I wasn't too distracted, just enough to realize no one else was moving, but me. The ladies sat there for like 10 min, heads bowed, just being!!

Not me! I was fidgeting the entire time! I was driving myself crazy. I wonder if any of them notices how I can't just sit still. Of course, I'm not going to mention it to them because then they'll start paying attention. That I don't need.

My challenge to you is, pay attention to those around you. Are you the fidgety one? Do you think those around you notice? What kind of fidgeting do you do? Is it always the same? Let me know.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Took the plunge to Adderall XR

I took the plunge yesterday, Tuesday. I know, I said I was going to take it Monday because it seemed the best choice; no one around to watch me go nutty on new meds, at home where I felt "safe", etc. Yah, it didn't quite work out that way.

So, Tues I remember to grab the new meds and headed out the door to work. I figured if anything, I'd have a great rush at work and be happy all day long. I counted out 9 hours and decided to take my meds at 10am. I figured I wanted to get through my day and just into the evening hours before it started wearing off.

I took it a bit after 10. I know, how could I forget? Hello ADD! I waited for "it" to hit. The big, "here I am" feeling of taking Adderall. It didn't quite happen that way. I generally feel the meds kick in about 1/2 an hour after I take them. Not this time. I was watching the clock and around 1/2 an hour later I started paying attention to myself and how I was feeling.

I could tell I felt lighter in my brain; the fog had lifted. It wasn't an overwhelming sensation though. How exciting for me, and I do mean that! I wasn't losing it at work and that's always a good thing. People think I'm goofy anyhow, no need to add to what they already think. :)

I kind of checked on myself throughout the rest of the day and didn't ever really feel tired or like it was wearing off. I felt very even keeled through the day. Very interesting. Believe it or not, I didn't realize I didn't "come down" at all. On my regular meds, I knew that by 4:30 I'd be ready for the day to be OVER! I was exhausted, crabby, and on stimulus overload. It took me about an hour to come out of that funk when I took my meds. Yesterday, nothing!

It was such a thrill to realize when I was going to bed around 11:30pm that I hadn't had a "low" for the day. Totally worth taking this medication! If I can take Adderall XR and don't have a "high" or a "low", I've found my new medication! We'll see how it all progresses.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

ADD-Inattentive & My Forgetfulness

Last night/this morning as I was trying to go to sleep I started making a list in my head of all the things that don't get done in my daily life or I forget to do. I don't know if I'll remember even 1/2 of them as the list seemed pretty endless. Here we go with my bulleted list of things I don't do:
  • give messages to people

  • dishes

  • cat litter

  • piles of laundry

  • make important phone calls

  • pay bills

  • make bed

  • vacuum

  • dust

  • play with kids

  • play with the dog

  • clean desk





  • turn in school permission forms/payments: yr books, lunch $, fees





  • trash

  • recycling

  • straighten son's bookshelf

  • give things back to people that they've lent me even tho I'm done with it

  • cash checks

  • make dr/dentist appts
  • remember son has bball on Wed after school

  • return library books to avoid fines

  • clean up after puppies were born IN AUGUST & left in OCTOBER!

  • straighten up garage

  • clean bathroom

  • paint walls that have been fixed

  • send "thank you notes" to people who've been kind or helped me in some way

  • get in touch w/ grandma




  • read my bible daily


      • scrap booking

      • go thru my piles & piles of papers

      • having boys take showers/brush teeth

      • making sure homework/reading gets done

      • going thru boys backpacks

      So, this is barely skimming the list of the things I forget on a daily basis. Every day of my life, many of those bullets above are being neglected! How God allowed me to be a parent is beyond me when I can barely take care of myself. I know, he knows what he's doing, but it still boggles my mind.

      What things are on your list that you neglect on a daily basis? I'm not saying these are "bad" things, just part of our lives and living with this disorder. We're not alone in our day to day struggles.

      ~Mimi